February 2012
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Anytime anyone asks what me what I'm doing for... →
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Out of context emails
There is this guy that calls from another company named Steve and everytime he calls we have super laughs. Last time he called I burst out laughing into the phone when I picked up because i was imagining what it would be like if I answered sounding like Salad Fingers. And then he continued the conversation like Salad Fingers. It was funny and creepy. This time when he called I told him about the...
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My good deed of the day
On the subway on the way home from work tonight, I was standing reading my book in front of two seated girls, no more than 17 or 18 years old. As the train starts to go underground, one of the girls’ phone beeps and she gets a text. She looks at the other and asks, “What’s a fleshlight?” The other replies, “I have no idea, who sent you that?” At this point I...
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January 2012
30 posts
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Todays lesson has been brought to you by 'Don't...
When taking oregano oil in attempt to evade an illness, do not, I repeat DO NOT just put a whole lot of it in your soup thinking it won’t be as disgusting to ingest. Recent events have shown that it ruins your soup, and you may end up trying to use too much hot sauce to cover up the flavour and end up with a rash on your face.
http://www.artlimited.net/image/en/346231 →
Ghostly Hong Kong. (Color Version), processing by Pavel Kiselev
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Growing up means not doing handstands on your bed...
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Conversations with my brother (excerpts)
“I just jumped onto the counter. Huge accomplishment…last time I tried and I put a hole right to my shin bone. I think I can go higher. The counter is about belt high hoo wah.”
“I think I’m going to let my hair grow a little so I can get a Courtney Cox haircut from the Dancing in the Dark video.”
“Sometimes when I poop, I like to pretend I’m Jason...
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Some reasons why I think I could marry the...
it teaches me things
it is very good at communicating
we are never far apart
it is a very good drinking partner
it reassures me that I always have someone to talk to if I need
it doesn’t mind when I stay up on the computer all night
it cheers me up with cats when I am sad
porn
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Emails from my brother
One time I went out with my friends gang in Halifax, started at a house and they had a roommate who was Chinese and had a sword collection
I got him into a game of caps and he asked me, “so what do you do in the real world…” I told him “I hide.” An incredibly deep philosophical conversation followed… I wanted to vomit in his face.
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A detailed description, written to a friend about...
I haven’t been able to eat or drink in 24 hours and I’m dying a slow death. Just let me TELL you what I’M doing. I’m laying in bed hoping that the chewable gravol and flat perrier will give me enough strength to do a load of laundry so I can pack for Sasquatch Festival. Needless to say my birthday weekend was successful debauchery. There was too much Fireball whiskey, a...
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I'm starting to think that taking my cast off...
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LCD Love Hurts (and why I am not a creepy fan)
Today has been shrouded with hazy, electric, heartachy memories of LCD Soundsystem’s last show ever. It was an experience that words will never describe, and trying to do so makes me so emotional that if I wasn’t on my period right now, you’d swear I was pregnant. It makes me seem like one of those creepy fans that scream and cry and want to have the drummer’s babies. But...
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