May 2012
55 posts
8 tags
My boss just shot me with a staple gun. It's...
May 25th
1 note
6 tags
I drank so much coffee today that I'm afraid if I...
May 25th
10 tags
May 25th
4 tags
People think I'm joking when I say I nearly...
May 24th
5 tags
The scratches on my stomach are telling me two...
May 24th
5 tags
I was wondering where that was
Apparently I sold my soul in high school because I just got it in the mail from a high school friend with a note that says, “I thought you might need this back.”
May 24th
5 tags
"Don't move. I just want to pull on your eyelid to...
-Quotes from my boss
May 23rd
9 tags
Everyone should have the opportunity to start a...
May 23rd
6 tags
Easing into the work week after vacation is...
May 23rd
5 tags
The best place to have an in depth conversation...
May 22nd
7 tags
Christmas morning with my brother is never boring....
May 22nd
May 22nd
1 note
6 tags
It is always better to remove your beer from the...
May 20th
8 tags
I rang in my 31st birthday sitting in a high...
May 19th
2 notes
10 tags
I might have been drunk, but looking back I'm...
May 18th
1 note
9 tags
May 18th
2 notes
8 tags
There is truly is nothing to remind you that...
May 18th
6 tags
For lack of a better vessel, I ate the entire...
May 17th
7 tags
May 17th
641 notes
"Kendra, I need $200 from petty cash for hot...
-Quotes from my boss
May 16th
1 note
6 tags
United Steak of America
Land of the free and the home of the graaaaaavy
May 16th
5 tags
Accidentally getting eye drops in my mouth = inane...
May 16th
7 tags
Text of the day
“Can you please decode the vocal sample at the start of Passion Pit - Sleepyhead? Cause it sounds an awful lot like “please unicorn, eat tacos with meeeee” making it both your theme song and likely the first dance song at your wedding.”
May 16th
3 notes
9 tags
May 15th
3 notes
7 tags
May 14th
7 tags
Nova Scotia, where all your dreams come true at...
May 14th
2 notes
6 tags
This hangover is MADE for a giant flea market. Oh...
May 12th
3 tags
I like to think my gym bag is heavy because I use...
May 11th
1 note
4 tags
May 10th
551 notes
3 tags
May 10th
8,011 notes
7 tags
Midweek heavy-drinking morning phlegm and regret...
My response to the question of what I think a whiskeyed-up protein shake would taste like.
May 10th
9 tags
Week old garlic fingers in the fridge hard as a...
May 9th
6 tags
Dear friends, my birthday is coming.
May 9th
6 notes
5 tags
May 9th
4 notes
May 8th
16,042 notes
7 tags
May 8th
8 notes
4 tags
I don't wake up with completely full cans of beer...
May 6th
3 notes
5 tags
This was my week. How was yours?
May 6th
2 notes
7 tags
May 6th
15 notes
May 5th
983 notes
8 tags
Cinco de Mayo
Last Cinco de Mayo I was getting wheelchaired on Labatt 50 with a priest in an Irish pub. This Cinco de Mayo, it’s 2pm on Saturday afternoon, I just woke up and I am about to wash down flu medication and birth control with a delicious vodka cooler. Saw James Murphy dj last night and am going to see the LCD Soundsystem documentary, Shut Up And Play The Hits for the third time this week in a...
May 5th
1 note
May 4th
125 notes
6 tags
May 4th
1 note
3 tags
May 4th
3 notes
9 tags
Someone please get me this for my birthday but...
May 4th
2 notes
6 tags
The main reason I can't call in 'sick' when I am...
May 4th
6 tags
May 3rd
4 tags
Well my day is made →
May 3rd
3 notes
7 tags
People look at you real weird when you take three...
May 3rd
6 tags
After the purchases and exploits in the last few...
May 3rd